Todd's Mischief Blog

How many must die before Trump is stopped? ~~~ Personally, I would pass up any pizza for a Stromboli. ~~~ Little Caesar’s is not pizza. ~~~ Jailing people for hate speech breaks up families. Checkmate liberals. ~~~ Abortion is to miscarriage as arson is to faulty wiring. ~~~ There are abundant reasons to reject the proposition that all religions are equal, but even without these, the fact that atheists hold it would be enough. ~~~ Him: "Where are you from?" Me: "Nebraska." Him: "Where’s your accent?" Me: 😑 ~~~ In order to facilitate the equal treatment of all people, regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, or creed, here is a list of all the ways one must treat minorities differently. ~~~ “Conservatives” have lost the distinction b/w “should not” and “must not.” This is why their “principles” are a cypher. One shouldn’t use vulgar language. At the same time, one mustn’t allow speech to be stifled simply because it’s vulgar. TruCons think both are “must no...

A conundrum for the modern world: You can't get a decent Coke out of a Freestyle machine. And yet, you can't get a Raspberry Coke anywhere else. I like to imagine that there is some perfect version of Raspberry Coke that comes in a can somewhere. Portland, probably. Because that would be my luck. ~~~ "We just need common sense gun reforms." "Okay. Describe that to me." "You know, common sense reforms. Just, reasonable regulations. Things everyone can agree on!" ~~~ ~~~ Hot Take: The milk scene in THE LAST JEDI works because Hamill punctuates it with a "f*ck you" face. He's not just sneering at Rey, he's sneering at the audience, daring the critics. ~~~ I don't get leftist memes. "Here is a picture of Trump as a baby. That means Trump is a baby! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Fcuk Drumpf!" ~~ Then: Jazz is corrupting the youth! Now: My granddad listens to jazz. ~~~ I dropped a breath mint on my foot. Tic Tac Toe. ~~~ I’m less wo...

Every facial hair style that isn’t a full beard was started by someone who missed a spot. I’m glad I’ll never be at that point of life where I’m chatting up single moms at a gas station. (based on actual witnessed events) TFW you’re associated with #HelicopterTwitter to the point of being served ads. Baseball is quite possibly the best way to spend $80 on actual peanuts. Water-soluble grocery bags are a great idea. As long as it's not raining. The main problem with social media in general is that it allows more interaction than it is designed for. Anti-gun idiots think that in order to support gun rights, you must carry constantly, refuse to enter gun-free zones or deliberately violate them, and be periodically involved in live fire situations. If you aren’t an old-West villain, you don’t really believe in the 2nd Amendment. See Zombie. See Zombie shamble. Shamble, Zombie, shamble! “Baby, It’s Cold Outside,” but instead of cold, it’s zombies. So it turns out that TIME really is MON...