Things I said on Twitter

“I will interpret your well-known figure of speech as a literal statement to make myself seem smart.”

~~~

In the year 2052, The Southern Poverty Law Center reluctantly adds itself to its own list of hate groups, as it is the only organization left not on it.

~~~

The Josie and the Pussycats soundtrack is the best album of 2001.

2001 was a bad year for albums. Very few that could be enjoyed beginning to end. Though Napster was shut down, the writing had been on the wall for some time that albums were on the way out. Beautiful Garbage was a good offering that year. The Strokes’ Is This It gets a lot of praise but it’s actually a slog to take in from start to finish. Slipknot isn’t my jam, but Iowa is probably their best known work. Most of the other albums that year were just vehicles for popular singles. See: Gorillaz, Alicia Keyes, Daft Punk, Weezer.

~~~

Runza makes the best onion rings. Don & Millies is 2nd. I’m never leaving this town.

~~~

Democrats today: Isolationism will lead to economic ruin and even war. Also, involvement with foreigners will lead to economic ruin and even war.

~~~

The American working class is aspirational, not jealous. Democrats do not know how to appeal to aspiration.

~~~

 

~~~

How dare the president investigate his political opponents…
<squints>
…to find whether the past president was investigating his political opponents!

~~~

Diversity tourists believe that if they talk to someone from a different country, they are getting a different perspective. They don’t recognize that, wherever they go, they surround themselves with like-minded people.

~~~

Future QB


~~~

Bad food take: I will take your bad food. And eat it.

~~~

Get you a woman who can tell the right way to use a semicolon; marry her.

~~~

The media is garbage.


~~~

"What should we do for dinner, tonight?"
"We should gather around an empty table and stare at one another with want in our eyes."
*blinks*
"Or spaghetti. I don't care, either way."

~~~

Hmm, movable fire pit in the church parking lot. Methinks some youth group shenanigans are afoot.

~~~

Anything that reminds me that race exists is racist! Also, I will spend all my time reminding others that race exists.

~~~

If you can’t walk away, it’s not a negotiation. This is basic Dave Ramsey stuff. It’s pretty much the only negotiation tip my dad gave me before I bought my first car.

~~~

I could totally pull off this look. Just sayin’.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Real Reason Why Are Trucks Getting Bigger

The Gaffe that Almost Wasn’t

Romney’s Pro-Life Position Not So New