Tweet the Curve

A collection of Tweets from July


Whenever I see anyone making a “Both Sides” argument, from now on I will say "You can't spell Both Sides without B.S."

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It is my contention that 41° is the perfect latitude for all seasons.

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The major shortcoming of the "follow the science" attitude is that if something is shown to work, but the mechanism is unknown, it gets treated as though it doesn't work.

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One day I’m beaten over the head with “scientific theories are more than just guesses, man” the next day I’m slapped across the face with “that’s only a theory, bro, nobody really knows.”

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"We should dox cops and go after their families!"
"Hey! Why aren't the cops wearing name badges?"

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"Resist!"
"Punch a Nazi!"
"Bash the Fasc!"
"Abolish the police!"
"Take the streets!"
"Riot! Loot! Burn!"
"It’s just property!"
"End America!"
"This isn’t working."
"It plays into Trump’s hands."
"Boogaloo boys did this."

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What I think of when I think of a cheese pizza:

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Can we fast forward to the part where they drag a shirtless Charleston Heston away, screaming “There is no virus! There is NO VIRUS!”

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Knowing exactly what kind of an idiot you are is half the battle. 

Depending on exactly what kind of an idiot you are. 

Could be less.

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If you can’t shame anyone into giving up their guns, what makes you think you can shame them into using them to defend you?

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Fame lasts 15 minutes, but infamy is forever.

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In my lifetime we’ve gone from the internet becoming a haven for weirdos to websites banning people for being weirdos.

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Out: “1984 is not an instruction manual!”
Shout: “Revenge of the Nerds is not a training video!”

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M-F: start drinking at 5
Sat: start drinking at noon
Sun: start drinking as soon as you receive the blessing

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We need a Twister remake, but it’s a premium cable series that starts out intriguing but goes on too long and gives up on a lot of threads before being cancelled.

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"You deserve to be harassed for your minority viewpoint."

*has a Galileo avatar*

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Sacha Baron Cohen
What we gonna do?
Cancel him like the leftists do!

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I often contemplate how En Vogue’s 1992 Top-10 hit and pro-tolerance anthem “Free Your Mind” is, by 2020 standards, deeply problematic.

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“Guys, you won’t believe how dumb these white people are. They just traded me all this stuff in exchange for, get this, land.”
“WTF!? You can’t own land!”
“Right?”

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Name a book that you couldn’t put down. 

The Idiot’s Guide to SuperGlue



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