Miscellaneous tweets

Every facial hair style that isn’t a full beard was started by someone who missed a spot.

I’m glad I’ll never be at that point of life where I’m chatting up single moms at a gas station.
(based on actual witnessed events)

TFW you’re associated with #HelicopterTwitter to the point of being served ads.

Baseball is quite possibly the best way to spend $80 on actual peanuts.

Water-soluble grocery bags are a great idea. As long as it's not raining.

The main problem with social media in general is that it allows more interaction than it is designed for.

Anti-gun idiots think that in order to support gun rights, you must carry constantly, refuse to enter gun-free zones or deliberately violate them, and be periodically involved in live fire situations. If you aren’t an old-West villain, you don’t really believe in the 2nd Amendment.

See Zombie. See Zombie shamble. Shamble, Zombie, shamble!

“Baby, It’s Cold Outside,” but instead of cold, it’s zombies.

So it turns out that TIME really is MONEY.

Real capitalism has never been tried. Checkmate, socialists.

Nothing done for its own sake results in much quality.

There are two sci-fi futures: shiny, happy ones or grimy, shitty ones. All the grimy, shitty ones are polyglot babelesque shopping malls.

You’re not really a fan unless you have his demo cassette.
You’re not really a fan unless you have his first show bootleg.
You’re not really a fan unless you have his grade school talent show VHS.
You’re not really a fan unless you have his ultrasound.


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