Breaking News from the James Damore Memo!

Google engineer fired for memo saying women can't touch a computer without breaking it.

Memo also says Handmaid's Tale "a good idea."

Suggests Google adopt Star Trek inspired Ferengi dress code.



Memo writing dudebro says women have a role at Google "in the cafeteria, making sandwiches or something."

From the controversial Google memo: Mattress Girl "probably had it coming."

Former Google engineer also wonders what Sulkowicz was wearing.

"Women, on average, are more empathetic…" *approving nods* "…more agreeable…" *approving nods* "…and have greater anxiety." *howls. of. rage.*

More from the Memo: "I write the best code. Believe me. Nobody writes code like I do."

Google exec responds: "James Damore is literally Elliot Rodger. Or maybe Hitler. I can't decide."

Hazmat team called in to clear James Damore's cubicle; Google cites high levels of 'toxic masculinity.'

More from the Memo: fmr Google engineer says women can't conceptualize numbers >20; maybe can't see color.

Alt-rite prof: Damore is correct, Women lack upper body strength necessary to use trackpad.

Fired Google employee claims women can't work in tech because Faraday cages don't block estrogen.

Google responds: "We refuse to permit an environment where white dudebros feel free to engage in stereotypes. Like they do."

Google responds: "We are proud to have so many platforms for employees to express executives' opinions back to them."

Google responds: "We do not endorse, promote or encourage *glances down* diversity? *glances down* inclusion? Turn it off! Turn it off!"

Fired Google employee reportedly titled memo, "Tech execs will HATE this memo (chicks, too)."

Expert cited by ousted Googler: "I completely disagree with the totally accurate portrayal of my research."

Opinion: Damore, a classic case of mediocre computational biologist from Harvard, Princeton, MIT threatened by strong gender studies majors.

Breaking: Candle Light Vigil for Victims of Anti-Diversity Memo to be held on Google Campus
Related: Number of Casualties Still Unknown

Google responds to threat of class-action discrimination suit: "Look! We fired that dude. What more do you b****** want?"

Google attorneys studying Damore memo to build defense case against 60 woman class action discrimination suit.

Google brass considering James Damore as an expert witness to explain the company's gendered pay and promotion practices.

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